What is beauty?

Lately, I've been noticing a change in my interactions with the people that I am closest to. And it makes me so very, very happy.

Preface: It is my personal belief that, as a human, the most beautiful thing you can do is share information, thoughts, feelings,  art--anything, really. The point is, you are sharing ideas and concepts and emotions and connecting to those around you. (I say this as I sit alone in my room because alone time to develop these ideas is crucial as well).

I've been coming closer and closer to achieve beauty in my life. For example, today, I sat down with Professor Birgen and talked about what I was passionate about today and she told me relevant information.

Today, when I went to talk to my piano professor, we talked about music, but then we also talked about memory and how memory works best and we shared our opinions about it and talked about Mark Twain and how an educated person doesn't have a clue about much of anything and realizes that.

And my list goes on and on, and it doesn't only pertain to educational material. I've had discussions about religion. I've had discussions about love and relationships. I've talked about morals. I've discussed politics. Last night a person that I only vaguely know shared music that he's been writing with me, and it was beautiful. I told him about crayfish and he was less excited, but he left a mark on me, and I left a (probably less permanent) mark on him, and we both benefited from it.

So, here's my thing. I want to be the most beautiful person I can possibly be. Unlike Sara, I am not convinced of the fact that I am beautiful. I have no laugh lines yet, how can I possibly be beautiful?

I can acquire beauty, though. And I can do this in so many ways. I can do so aesthetically by not only using my body to reflect my values--I want those laugh lines so badly, but beyond that, I can dress and move and do things with my body that show who I am, personally. I can do so emotionally by continuing to have these conversations. Or by opening myself up to new ideas. I watched a TED talk about taking "The Other" to lunch--I can talk to new people. I can share more of what I'm passionate and absorb what other people are passionate about and get passionate about it to. Because, really, wouldn't the world just be a better place if everyone got really excited about a lot of things and you just felt their palpable joy every time they talked to you? Or if you gained the understanding of how to respond to people, and were able to improve their lives because of this understanding, wouldn't that be better, too?

I want to be beautiful. But I want to be my definition of it.


http://www.ted.com/talks/sally_kohn_let_s_try_emotional_correctness.html

http://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_lesser_take_the_other_to_lunch.html

Motivation

After class today, I spent a lot of time thinking about motivation. About what motivates people to do what they do, to join a political party that they only half believe in or to talk to someone they haven't really talked to before.

I've also recently watched a TED talk about how people need to stop learning and start thinking. So I'm not doing any research for this one, I'm speculating about motivation and political parties and all of that madness.

I think, fundamentally, one of the things that all organisms that are sexed share is the need for more of their kind, if only for procreation. Moving to a slightly higher level of development, in animals, this manifests as a sort of need for a community. Again, moving up the ladder, humans have a need for communities that satisfy all aspects of who they are. People choose to be part of communities of scholars (by going to a school) of athletes (by playing a sport), and of people of similar religious beliefs (by attending a church). Politics introduces a whole new level of identity, and one that not everyone understands. So--and this is me just thinking, there is no support--people choose a political group that they find an aspect of that resonates with them, and they stick with it when they don't truly have an understanding of it.

When I'm asked what my political beliefs are, I say that economically, I have republican ideals, and socially, I have democratic ideals. But I think I'm just trying to belong to the two communities--perhaps I should start my own community, or refuse to be in a community in this aspect of my life.

Another way to look at motivation--also from today's class--is in what motivates certain behaviors. For example, today in class, I was very excited about the topics and the routes that the conversations I was participating in were going. I had come to class wanting to make sure that everyone had at least an understanding of our political parties because I enjoy political discussions and analysis of government. My motivation can be traced, again, to community. I wanted to (in this case make) a community where I could be excited about what I was talking about and other people would also be excited and they would respond with intelligent discussion. And, within all of this, I didn't want to be embarrassed or snubbed by the community for putting on a poor show or having a boring presentation.

Alternatively, in my social life, I've been interacting more with people that I don't normally talk to, and I think it's because it feels like we can form a community because we are going through similar things. I've found two people who have boyfriends who are going through boot camp. And it's just so very comforting to know that I can talk to one of them if I'm confused or if I'm lonely or any other reason. Because we share something, I automatically want to be closer to these people because I'm accumulating as many communities and connections to other humans as I can, until all of the aspects of me are satisfied.

I'm sure there's a psychological reason for all of these things that makes a lot more sense than what I've tried to describe. I just think that, in the end, we all want to know that there are other people thinking and doing the things that we think and do. And when we are motivated to find these people and interact with them as much as possible.

I finished my four year plan this week, and next semester, I want to quit my music scholarship. I can graduate in 3.5 years and work part time as a CNA if I don't do piano, and, let's face it, as a college student paying for my own schooling, that's about what I can afford. I did the math and I can make enough money to cover my tuition if I'm working as a CNA, which means that I can start trying to save for med school too.

But that isn't the only reason I want to be done with my scholarship. Because I'm tired of letting people down because I'm not good enough. Because I want to get my CNA and I won't have time to practice. Because arthritis runs in my family and I can't move my wrists after I play, and that scares me and hurts.

My problem is that my piano professor is the nicest man I've ever met and I don't know how to tell him that I can't do this. I enjoy piano, but this is too much for me. And it's turning into a chore, and that's the last thing I want. I'm just scared because I have the closest relationship with my piano professor out of everyone on campus, and he helped me get through feeling incredibly inadequate about my lack of knowledge about music, two deaths, a major illness, and my boyfriend leaving for the Marines. I don't want to lose that relationship, but I know that quitting piano would basically guarantee that happens.

All I know is I can't do another semester like this because every time I type, it hurts. And every time I rehearse, I'm aware that I'm not where I should be on any of the songs because I'm spending time learning accompaniment music that's too hard for me.

Technology.

Hello and oh my goodness it is good to be able to type this sentence.

Yes, it is required that we have two blogs a week, so it is a bit of a drag to blog because, no, I do not, in general, approve of blogging. I would rather have a corporeal assignment. However, it is a relief to be able to blog because I have spent several days being unable to blog because in the box where I am supposed to type my blog, there were ADDS!

Yes, you read that correctly, adds prevented me from doing my homework.

I figured it out, with the help of Google, that there were two extensions in my Chrome settings that I didn't add, and were actually allowing my internet explorations to be plagued with adds. Which was annoying on several levels; nothing was working correctly because ADDS, I spent way too much time closing pop-ups, and my educational videos weren't loading very well. (For those of you that don't know about my problem, it is this: when I am sick [as I have been recently] I watch educational videos. It's quite ridiculous.)

Actually, the point of this blog is the content of the adds. I was suddenly inundated with adds of all types--not just the types that Google has determined are good for me, but types that apply to all demographics. (Sidenote, clear your browsing history and cookies and all of that stuff as often as you can, it loses Google money as noted here: http://adzerk.com/blog/2011/11/why-google-built-incognito-mode) I had adds with women in various states of sexual objectification, and I went up on a pedestal that actually matches the recent topics quite nicely. And was referenced in one of my educational videos that I watched on TED.

Here's what I got out of this video: Sexual objectification is horrible. The media has truly gone too far. There is a different between art and oppression. I like not seeing the adds that were popping up on my computer. They were often exactly as Caroline Heldman described; I felt self-conscious about how I measured up. It was uncomfortable. On top of that, watching this video made me uncomfortable because I automatically noticed that the speaker had beautiful hair and that mine will never look like that, and that she looks polished and all of these other things. Then I saw the conclusion, where she took off her makeup, and I understood that she knew the affect she had on others when she looked that way, and she encouraged NOT doing that.

And I can see the practical side of taking time away from image, and the social aspects. But my problem was that I value beauty. And I express it by wearing clothing in shades and patterns and textures that are aesthetically appealing to me. And that isn't wrong. Sometimes I wear makeup. And that isn't wrong either. What is wrong is judging myself based on others, which is where our opinions are in convergence again.

So this may be unprogressive of me, but I'm going to continue to live my life outwardly the same, minus the adds. But I want to find a way to stop the objectification factor. Because when I have children, they shouldn't feel the same way that many young girls (and boys) feel today when inundated with adds.

Too much little picture.

Ella, that was a fantastic presentation. I feel like the topic can only be dealt with factually, and I'm glad that that is how it was presented. I'm saying this because I have a lot of tumultuous opinions that might make it appear that I don't appreciate the severity of the situation. I do appreciate it, however, I cannot pinhole myself into only caring about feminism, or thinking that rape culture is the only type of injustice in which violence is used and power is gained.

I have several points that I want to enumerate, and that I didn't communicate in discussion because my throat hurt and I can't be loud and I was really tired and everyone else was loud.

My first point is that humor is society's way of handling that which makes it uncomfortable. Humor releases social tension. It has a purpose. (Yes, I double checked with wiki that I remembered my introduction to psychology and sociology courses correctly. My main point is that it is a relief.) I understand that not all humor is politically correct--but let's face it, there are a million ways for me to be politically incorrect, and I'm fulfilling many of them on this blog post. Getting to the point: yes, rape humor is terrible. But it is not any more terrible than any other humor about social inequality. There is violence in other types of social inequality. In discussion today, I was uncomfortable with the way that rape jokes were presented  as inherently bad, while other types of injustice related jokes were glossed over. I personally, as a woman, am uncomfortable with rape jokes. I am not particularly offended by them because I understand that society is trying to deal with an uncomfortable issue. I know African Americans that are uncomfortable with black jokes--there has been no mention of how they are equally harmful.

Let's think about this: there will always be jokes about injustices. Some are really hard to stomach, and I understand that. However, I acknowledge that I will be presented with situations where these types of jokes will be used, and I use my own reasoning to determine if it is harming society by perpetuating a stereotype or if it is that person's way of coping with an uncomfortable issue.

Second point: Everyone needs to calm the hell down.

Week after week, issues are causing heated discussions and personal pain. I DON'T GET IT. We are scholars, yes? Understand that, if everyone has the same opinion as you, THAT'S BAD!! THAT ISN'T A GOOD THING! It may make things easier, however, imagine if our government was made of people that all had the same opinion. How would that benefit everyone? It is our duty to recognize that we can learn from other people's opinions. We can take others ideas and utilize them as our own, which can only make us better, more well-rounded individuals.

Third Point: I personally don't think I have experienced injustice because I am female.

In my hometown, at my high school, it was understood that I was smart. In all subjects. And I'm not bragging, compared to here, I am very much a normal person. But there, I excelled, and I excelled from a young age, so it was understood that girls could be smart, and were smart, and excelled in subjects atypical to the standard thoughts (i.e. I was good at math and science--this isn't a jibe at Blaise, by the way, I've heard that study and I can understand how and why he said that, and I am sorry for him that people were mad at him. Aren't we supposed to help others through teaching, not through shaming? This should be a comfortable environment!). I was thought to be a goody-two shoes prude that listened to Christian music and attended church twice a week and sometimes eight times and never swore, but that is more of a product of my shyness in my preteen years than anything else. I know that, as a blonde woman that likes to look nice and wears makeup when she isn't sick and has a ridiculous amount of shoes, I might not be taken as seriously as I should be, because the only way a woman can be intelligent is if she doesn't care about her opinion (as per the stereotype), however, I'm hoping we can work towards less surprise when we encounter intelligent, well dressed, and ridiculously shoed women in the future.

Rant done.

Religion.

While I am at a particularly spiritual/religious part of my life where I'm questioning exactly what my opinion is and am extremely influenceable, especially by very attractive boyfriends who have strong religious beliefs and can argue them intelligently, I am not okay with what our assignment is for biology.

Let's start from the beginning:
Hot topics:  Evolution and Faith          15 points

Several observations about the earth and the universe lead scientists to conclude that the earth is ~ 4.5 billion years old and the universe is ~ 13.7 billion years old.  The Bible, however, contains various bits of chronological information that, when taken together, put the creation of the world at 4004 BC.  Your text contains introductory material regarding the age of the Earth that we will cover in class, but you should think about these issues before Dr. Jones’ talk.

Please type out your answers.  Cite at least one source for your literature cited to support your argument(s) (this does not have to be peer-reviewed).  All of your answers, plus your one reference, must fit on one page (be concise).  Also, be sure to put your instructor’s name on your paper (Dr. Maxwell).

MAKE SURE TO PROOFREAD YOUR PAPER – POINTS WILL BE TAKEN OFF FOR POOR GRAMMAR.

The Bible is available online at the following url: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/. 

1.        Does Darwin’s theory that humans evolved from simpler life forms conflict with the idea that humans are made in the image of God?  Explain.

2.      Is the value of the Bible diminished if one accepts that the earth is much older than the Bible says it is?  Explain.

3.      What effect would it have on a person's view of the natural sciences if he or she believed that the world was only 6,000 years old?

This is the assignment that was emailed out. As any summer would, my paper is already done and cited and ready to be printed (also thank you, life, for changing the format of this unexpectedly and unfixably).

My problem? My problem is that this assignment assumes that I'm Christian!

I might be, but I might not be and that isn't okay for this assignment to just be handed out!

Say I was of a different religion--what if I didn't believe in God at all (which has been me at some point in my life, luckily I didn't receive this assignment then or I would have had a full on rage). This assignment not only forces myself to drag myself through the drudgery of christian extremists in order to find sources on how evolution contradicts creationism, but it also forces me to treat Christianity as my religion to answer the questions; to finish this paper, I had to look up what the image of God was.  I had to assign value to a book I have not read or been exposed to because I am not of a religion that follows it. I dislike that this assignment was aimed at Christians. I thought we were beyond that.

 I also think that perhaps my rant is a show of my inability to accept others religious opinions. Then I realize that my boyfriend is a baptist and I'm so upset because I think that people in our biology class are feeling as alienated or more alienated by this assignment as I am. So maybe I am accepting and just confused about a lot of things.

The controversy about how controversial abortion is.

What is this.

I have so much anger right now, so many negative feels.

This is a scholar's class. We all know what a debate is. We know how debates work.

What I don't understand why we can't debate our ideas without attacking  each other.

You know, I hate abortions. I can't condone ending a life. This is said without being in that situation--I've never been pregnant, I can't know for certain that I wouldn't. But it makes me so very very sad.

However, I cannot tell another person that they can't control their own body. I control my body by making decisions about what I do with it. I have options. I have strong, personal opinions about abortion. But I'm not going to push them onto others.

Why can't people understand that you can have a personal opinion, one that doesn't affect others? I hurt so much for all of the babies that could have been. But I would be idiotic and shortsighted if I didn't acknowledge that many would have been born into poor circumstances, would have been impoverished, and would have been resented. I can understand the other side. I can understand that my choice of what I do with my body is not the same as another woman's choice, but that she has the right to make that choice. And it doesn't affect me in any way other than that I feel sorrow for the potential lives.

Quandries

I went home again this weekend.

Because it was too many deaths in too few of weeks, because my grandpa is switching states to not live in an empty, lonely house, because my cousin is one of the most driven and caring people I know. Because of a boy.

I love it here. I love the freedom that comes with being here, how I can just go to my room and be by myself sometimes and nobody is trying to force me to socialize, how when I do feel like participating in the world, it's right there, blocked only by my doorway.

Sometimes, though, it really hits home how far away everything is. How I didn't know how sick she was because we were so far away. How I can't help my person when she's feeling at her worse because she's so far away. That's hard.

That's why I cherish my times back with them. Because it's hard, but I get to see moments of triumph when my cousin pours every ounce of himself into a race, so much that he becomes physically ill, then carry the person who he just beat to the awards ceremony and congratulate everyone who beat him and all those that he beat.

I get to see my grandpa laugh.

I get to bear hug my friend.

I get to learn what my parents are doing with their lives now that they have an empty house, devoid of children and grandparents.

But it's hard to go back, because I have my freedom here, I have space to be comfortable. Because in the end, what I need is here. And what I want is there.

HeLa

This week we had a very long, very tedious presentation.

I shouldn't say that. I'm sure it was very informative and interesting...if it wasn't reiterating everything that we read in the book. Every. Single. Thing.

I am a fan of learning. I like learning new things. However, that was not a learning experience. I found it to be redundant, and I'm sure anyone that actually completed the book would have as well.

To top that off, I experienced sleeper's guilt for falling asleep during the presentation. Given my new affinity for waking up at unreasonably early hours, it wasn't a lot of guilt, but still. It was disrespectful and normally I would give my entire attention span (or what's available) to such a presentation. I reiterate: it was a pointless presentation.

What truly made me upset was that within the presentation itself, facts were reiterated again and again. I could understand a few points, but most points were described three times (minimum) and it was just too much.

I'm sorry for my rude rant. I just did not enjoy that at all.

Medical Justice: Universal Healthcare in broadest terms

Healthcare, healthcare, healthcare. It's all anyone seems to talk about, and with good reason. It shut down the government for sixteen days, it splits the Republicans and the Democrats, and it costs far more than it should. When talking about healthcare, universal healthcare always seems to come up. The interesting thing is that, while many form polar opinions about it, not many understand what it actually is.

            According to the World Health Organization (WHO), the goal of universal health care is "to ensure that all people obtain the health services they need without suffering financial hardship when paying for them."  But that isn't all that universal healthcare needs to be; it needs to include an efficient healthcare system, a way to pay for healthcare, access to healthcare, and a healthcare system of qualified employees.

Universal healthcare is a system that some countries are adopting as an alternative to a system similar to what the United States has—where healthcare is a for-profit business.  It’s difficult to define universal healthcare with a solid definition of how it applies to a country as it is applied in different ways in the countries that have it. However, the underlying point—some degree of healthcare paid for, at least in part, by the government. Of the countries that have adopted a form of universal healthcare, some of the more prominent, or wealthier countries, include Qatar (which is ranked as the wealthiest nation in the world, according to per capita earnings, or GPD), Luxembourg (ranked number two by the same standards), Singapore (ranked third), Norway (fourth), and fifth ranked Brunei. The United States is sixth on the list, and the first to break the trend.

With the United Nation’s stance on universal healthcare, it isn't surprising that many countries are either working towards universal healthcare or already there. On December 12, 2012, the United Nations made their stance clear: “Recognizing the intrinsic role of health in achieving international development goals, the General Assembly today – through the unanimous adoption of a resolution on global health and foreign policy – encouraged Governments to plan or pursue the transition towards universal access to affordable and quality health-care services.

Despite the support of the United Nations, universal healthcare remains a controversial topic on the global and national level. Tax payers ask why they pay taxes for people who don’t take care of themselves—people who don’t exercise, who smoke, or who do drugs. Canadians and Germans are trying to switch back to privately insured healthcare to cut back on wait times to get treatment. There is a general complaint that government pay means lack of incentive; employees are paid less, and therefore have less incentive to do their job. Third world and developing nations have difficulties establishing universal healthcare systems because of the lack of money on all levels. The push for universal healthcare is balanced by the potential and real drawbacks.

With the Affordable Care Act and the United Nation’s push for universal healthcare, it isn't likely that it is an issue that will go away in the near future. There are definite pros and cons to having a bureaucracy controlled healthcare system or having a private, for-profit healthcare system. Right now it seems that the United States is trying to split the difference; it will be interesting to see which side comes out on top.

Paying it Forward

Today, we had a meeting about our new group. I would use its name but...we haven't gotten that far yet. We know what we want to do, though.

When I went to the meeting, I wasn't...happy. Some people noticed, I wasn't happy Monday either.

However, I'm getting there, and it is due in large part to everyone that came up to me and had a genuine interest in how I was. I don't think I could smile at all if it weren't for the wonderful people that I have the privilege of knowing and living by.

Here is how I connect that to the meeting: I want to pay it forward. I've had so much love in the last couple of days that I felt like that was something I could do within our new group. My subcommittee is literally called "Pay it Forward." I want to share the love that I receive every day with people that may not have that same feeling. So if you're interested in (Insert Group Name), or you want to try to create a more positive environment, please don't stay away. Even if it sounds far to aggressively cheerful.

Midterm Project

http://prezi.com/mcvzhc-p_jeg/?utm_campaign=share&utm_medium=copy&rc=ex0share


Updated, enjoy!

And Everything Was Just Fine

At the last possible moment, our government finally came together and agreed to not cause even more damage.

In many ways, I approve of the way our government is set up. I approve of how ridiculously long it takes to get anything done because a deliberate pace is necessary when an entire nation can be impacted by your actions.

I do not approve of how the country has not been run for the last sixteen days. That was ridiculous. When worked in daycare, if a group of children couldn't agree to compromise, they couldn't do whatever it was they were doing to begin with. That was my rule; you play well with others or not at all. I wish there was a more direct way to let our congress know that the rule still holds; if they can't play nicely, they don't get to be in our government. It's a sure-fire way to not be reelected. The problem is, this reaction isn't immediately realized, so it isn't a good threat system.

My problem was that the American people didn't almost cause our country to default. The congressmen did. But the consequences would have been felt most by our citizens. Congress is made of mostly upper class. So when the price of milk skyrocketed, the effects wouldn't be as tangible. But those who didn't almost cause a global economic crisis would have born the brunt of the burden. And that isn't fair.

And none of this happened, so me complaining about it holds even less weight than it normally would.

Voting Rights ...and those who shouldn't use them. Also, an apology.

Blaise, I am sorry for being mad at you. I didn't think it was funny, but I understand that it was meant to be humorous and not at all what your group actually thought.

I don't know the statistics of those who vote that are illegal immigrants. I don't know a lot of statistics about much of anything. I do know that making illegal immigrants have an easier time of becoming citizens would probably decrease the amount of money spent on this issue, and, with the nation's debt at an all time high and with a debt ceiling looming, I feel like that should be a priority.

So we allow people to become citizens. They can then vote. Citizens should be able to vote. 

Here's the thing. States legally lose their congressional voice if they make laws that don't allow their citizens to vote. Or they would, if loopholes didn't exist. They lose their voice specifically:

"When the right to vote at any election for the choice of electors for President and Vice-President of the United States, Representatives in Congress, the Executive and Judicial officers of a State, or the members of the Legislature thereof, is denied to any of the male inhabitants of such State, being twenty-one years of age, and citizens of the United States, or in any way abridged, except for participation in rebellion, or other crime." 

Which was later ammended to include all citizens eighteen years and above.

The point is, any law made that discludes citizens from voting is unconstitutional. This is why I am passionately against such laws that are in existence, such as voter ID laws. I support the Constitution; inherently, I support the right to change it if it doesn't work. 

This cyclical reasoning--that we support it until we don't like it, in which case we change it, but at all times we uphold it--leads me to my next thought.

I don't want uninformed people to be voting. Period, end of story. This just perpetuates what chaos we have now--we are about to default on loans to other countries due to a debt ceiling that we are about to reach but can't agree to vote about, which would cause global economic challenges. And these are the people we elected. 

I have this problem where I understand my ideals; I know exactly what I think should happen with taxing. I know that I support a less involved government, and I know that economically, many of my views put me on the fast track for being a Republican.

Which, coming from a person with social views as liberal as my own, is a conundrum. 

I DON'T LIKE ANY OF THE PEOPLE I CAN VOTE FOR. 

I don't feel represented in Congress, and because of this, I don't like voting (I say with my year's worth of experience of being a voter).

In the end, what I want is a government that isn't bipartisan. I want options, and my country doesn't give them to me. So there's that.

Don't forget to sweat the small stuff

But really.

I am passionate about alternatives to our current educational system. I think it isn't working. I think that there are people that don't get what they need from our primary education system. I know that in many ways, I wasn't pushed enough by my schooling.

So when we discussed this revolutionary new approach, I was a little curious. Overwhelmingly though, I was frightened.

I am frightened of how our country has fallen from being the best to what is just potential to be the best. I believe that part of that comes from trying to make everyone the same on an educational level.

See this here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmPTZgFP3iY

 It's about thirty minutes long, but I've found it inspiring on many levels and in many situations. Right now, though, I want you to focus on the educational portion of the speech. We need to have more focus put on learning, and learning more in the classroom. I feel that this independent movement has the potential to teach students how to learn, but then again, will they learn what they need to? We no longer know as much as we used to as a whole. Important things slip through the cracks. Who knows anything about being a citizen? Probably not me. I took government in highschool, but I doubt I could pass a citizenship test today. Things are being forgotten that we can't afford to lose.

Side note: I don't care what your political beliefs are. If you are actually planning on watching the video, watch it with an open mind and take the lessons from it that are intended to be taken; I take with me that, because I can think, I should have no excuses. If you're a die-hard democrat, like my sister, you probably won't enjoy this as much as I did, speaking from a more conservative standpoint. However, my religious ideologies do not stop me from learning a lesson from the religious aspects of what was said in the speech. While this is definitely rambling, my point is that regardless of who is talking and what their opinions are, you can always learn a lesson, even if that lesson is only about yourself.

This is my rant about phones. Carry on.

Everyone needs to be as excited about the future of phones as I am.

For those of you who might know of my lack of proficiency where technology is concerned, there may have been a double take. But really. Get excited.

Go look at this link.

http://www.phonebloks.com/

Watch the video, and appreciate.

Here's why I am fascinated with this. I like the idea of all of the companies working together to make lego phones--let's get real, that's what these phones are. It means a higher degree of specialization in each company, making a better overall product. It's customizable, so I would get the old person, low technology phone and it would work for me. 

See, I have a lot of technological waste already accumulated under my name. It makes me uncomfortable to tally it up, but the reality is, a lot of it is avoidable. I want to replace only my screen when it breaks, only the keyboard when the buttons don't work, and only the battery when it stops holding a charge. I want to be less wasteful.

I also don't think this will ever happen because large corporations suck and nobody likes to work together. But that's an entirely different rant.

I enjoyed last week's discussion over the pros and cons of No Child Left Behind and tracking. This might seem weird for a Bio major, but last year, I was impacted by an educator and her drive to change the way we teach.

My role model, for lack of a better word--because truly, she is more of a friend than anything else--has the remarkable idea that she can teach every single one of her students. She believes she can do this through IEPs, or individualized educational plans, to be used on every student. Through this, she will teach all of the necessary skills, and grade upon whether or not they can demonstrate said skills in a portfolio type format. This way, poor testers do not necessarily have poor grades. They can demonstrate that they know a skill in class.

Another advantage of this system is the ability to give students assignments that appeal to the student, which can self-motivate the student to learn. In an ideal world, the assignment would be cross-disciplinary and would help reinforce concepts taught in other classes. In effect, it would teach students to connect ideas taught in all classes and help them incorporate this type of thinking into their everyday life.

My teacher had a better way of describing it, but I don't remember it anymore and I lack the ethos to preach. But I do know that I want my children to go to school in a system where the teachers want to help their students as much as she did.

Ferp derp der derp Speaker

So, I'm just going to put this out there...
FERPA isn't a very interesting subject. It just isn't. And while I approve of my information being protected, it just wasn't a topic that I'd care to go over ever again.

That being said, what happened after being informed about FERPA was quite excellent. Speaking as a freshman, I feel like some essential things, essential information things, were left out of our O-Week. Or possibly overloaded on us. I was unaware of the function of the Student Senate, which, speaking as one of those students that is being represented in the Student Senate, shouldn't be the case.

I also had less of an idea about the hierarchy of who can help me; I am aware that there was a presentation over it, however, said presentation was given at a point in my life where I couldn't comprehend what would apply to me. I didn't know that our speaker was my representative, although it was probably brought up, because it was introduced as an idea before I had background knowledge about who I might need to know about.

I don't really know where I'm going with this. Possibly I am just dissappointed about how O-Week was presented. Possibly I'm just extremely tired from a week of not sleeping despite having the time and the inclination to do so. I don't know how to fix the system, or really that it's broken, because, honestly, I could have just not been paying enough attention.

I spend way to much on way too little.

I'm really quite surprised at how expensive college has been even so far. I knew that I was getting myself into a financial pickle when I walked onto campus, but I didn't analyze it. That was before I watched the numbers in my bank account fall. Now, I look at what I have, and I am slightly confused. 

I have a room that I share with another person. Don't get me wrong, my room is better than most size-wise, however, there have been four wasps. It's located next to a staircase where drunk people carousel in the night. It has a door to a hallway that is inhabited by drunk people who wander in and hit on me then insult my friend. It has a communal bathroom down the hall that currently has a sink in pieces on the ground and yesterday had vomit splattered near the stalls. So yes, money well spent.

I have books. These books were mandatory for class, yet not supplied. When you look at them, they're paper and cardboard composite and glue, with ink everywhere. But the whole is worth more than the sum of its parts, and I spent hundreds of dollars on my books. And I haven't purchased next semester's books yet. In high school, books were provided for class. Even private high schools provided books, as the students were paying for their educations there. Again, I feel like my money was put to the best possible use.

Oh--and laundry! Laundry is a joy. My clothes are always completely clean when they come out, because of how very nice the washers are. The dryers are even better, my clothes come out completely dry in forty minutes. And that is very convenient, because my laundry load runs at about thirty-five minutes, so there's no time at all where I have wet clothing not in a dryer. I also always have quarters, making the lack of quarter machine a distant worry for the day that I miraculously run out of quarters. This, of course, can be lumped into the living expenses category of money I've spent, and I would spend it again for the joy of using our laundry room.

And the campus is certainly putting my money to use on things that apply to me. I live in the "W", pumping iron day in and day out. All of the sports stadiums benefit me as a spectator because I have yet to miss a game. 

I hate that it costs so much for something that other countries have for free.

Today's discussion was interesting to me; no one liked how the role reversal was portrayed. Complaints ranged from "it perpetuated the 'bad' sterotype that black people have to deal with.

That's not necessarily how I saw it. Yes, I was uncomfortable with the portrayal of the rich ethnicity--what would normally be white people--as cold and uncaring, but I didn't see it as placing another black actor in a role that demeaned his race. 

If Travolta was portraying the stereotypical black ethnicity and many of us were disgusted by his character, then the rich factory owner was portraying the stereotypical white person. I know the movie is slightly outdated, but I'm not comfortable with that. I'm curious as to if it still is a stereotype, and uneasy about all of the stereotypes out there that apply to me that I haven't heard of.

The Downside of Student Loans and the Plus Side of Degrees

As a student in college, it is perhaps a little hypocritical of me to say that I don't believe that everyone here should be here. And that sounds very hypocritical, but let me explain.

Not every job requires a degree. Not every mind is equipped for college. Yes, if you have the desire to go into a profession that requires a degree, you should be welcome to it. But there has been too much emphasis placed on the value of a degree and not enough respect placed on the jobs that don't require degrees.

Personally, I am a fan of vocational schools and apprenticeships unless you have a specific degree that you need for your job. Especially with the price of schooling, it seems ridiculous to spend money on a degree when you could have a job suited to your skill set and receive the training from someone who has been doing the job long enough to become a master at it.

Hearing about how Germany handles "blue collar jobs" makes me wish that our country had the same approach--the world needs street sweepers, and there is no shame in that.

This being said, I am a hypocrite because I am paying gobs of money to go to school for Bio in order to be a doctor. I know that it's what I want to do, and I know that in the long run I have the potential to rebound from the expenditures of college. Many people go to college because they know it will help them make more money in the long run. And they're usually right. I just wish it wasn't the case.

It's for the children...and because of health care?

About an hour ago, I was of the mind that welfare is a necessary evil. Let me explain.

This summer, I worked fifty hour weeks. And found time to spend with my family, help my grandparents with flood recovery, volunteer, have a social life, and, yes, I even slept adequate amounts. Most of the time. When my parents were growing up, they were similar to me; they both helped out on farms, had jobs, and understood that if you want something, you have to work. As in have a job.

I'm a big believer in work ethic. So, even though I don't want the poor to be suffering, I had slight feelings of misgiving when there are people taking unemployment. There is no shame in having a job if you are providing for those that you care about. I know work isn't an option for everyone. I know that minimum wage isn't enough money to live on. However, I have the firm belief that if you are going to take help from the government, you better be contributing to our communities in some way. And on top of all of these thoughts, I can't not condone a program that helps feed children. 

So an hour ago, I was more concerned that the people on welfare put more effort into giving back to the people and communities that are giving to them than I was concerned about the environment that may have put them in a situation where they needed assistance. Basically, my viewpoint changed when I watched a video that my sister linked me, which coincidentally is on the Scholar's Facebook page. And I got mad at what our government isn't doing for us in regards to healthcare.

I am overwhelmingly upset about how high healthcare is in the United States, which was put into perspective quite nicely by the video. I can apply it personally, or to a hypothetical case, and be equally apalled. What would my knee injuries have cost if I didn't live in America? And what of that hypothetical family that is in need of help because their child has a medical issue that they can't afford? That's not their fault. It isn't their fault that healthcare is unnecessarily high, and it definitely isn't their fault that their child is sick.

My new opinion: If you are on welfare because healthcare is too damn high, you can have my taxes. You deserve them. If you are on welfare because you don't have good work ethic, shame on you because there are people who need the resources that you are using. And...if you are on welfare and you have children, take care of your children and teach them how to live a life where they can give back to those who have helped them. Become contributing members of society. Whatever you do, just please don't use resources that others need.

Reaction to Environmental Justice Topics

Last class was not an easy class for me. We split into our separate classrooms and shared our topics, so half of the scholars don't know what one of us is going through. Kelsey shared her topic, then veered into another, more relevant one.

Kelsey is from Colorado. Specifically, she is from the part of Colorado that has been in the news this last week for catastrophic flooding. Our classroom discussion focused on what is happening in her home town, and it was so very hard to keep from crying the entire time that she was presenting.

The week after I graduated from high school, my home town was hit with storm after storm after storm. My grandparents had a farm that has been in our family for one hundred and fifty years, and recently the area around that farm has been restructured so that, when those storms hit, the creek near their house left its banks. In the past, the creek has risen to the point that it has been around their house, but this year, it rose above the 100 year floodplain by three feet and flooded their house. Then, it flooded their house at least three more times within the two weeks after the initial flood.

I know from this summer how hard it is to clean up after something like that. This weekend, I went home and spent parts of Saturday and Sunday cleaning the furniture that we salvaged and helping my grandparents move into their new home. Because of this summer, I feel very passionate about helping the victims of the Colorado flooding. I feel that we have an obligation to help them in any way that we can, and the fall service trip seems like an excellent way to do so.

Environmental Issue (or really just a complaint)

In the movie Good Will Hunting, the main character, Will Hunting, criticizes students matriculating at Harvard University for spending copious amounts of money on an education that he received by spending a few dollars in late fees from the local library.  The annoying frat boy that Will says this to is then suitably ashamed and Will gets the girl and life is great, but that's another story. The connection I'm attempting to make is that I never knew to be ashamed of my lack of education until now. Scholars has been fantastic about showing me what I never thought to learn--I never knew how much I had in common with the privileged frat boy.

As a recent graduate from a small town school, I knew that I was poorly educated in many regards--I knew that my math classes were a joke (as in I held study sessions where I would teach students the material because the teacher did nothing), my science classes were a joke, my music training was joke...I could go on, but the point is that I am painfully aware of how little I know the longer I am at Wartburg. But I never considered my lack of personal knowledge on the subject of the environment to be one of my shortcomings until we started Scholars.

While our country's education system is something that I could have long-winded, passionate discourse on until I ran out of listeners, until recently I never would have thought to clump environmental issues into the pile of things that are going wrong with education. I'm starting to realize how important environmental education is, and I'm also starting to realize how few of the people from my hometown have knowledge on the subject.  We have a rudimentary recycling program--and in class, if you recall, I shared the story of how our recycling program in my hometown is apparently just another storage container that goes into the trash pile--we have a biology club that is freshman run and does nothing, and we have a lot of cars that have bumper stickers proclaiming things like "Corn Fed Hick" and "Proud to be Corn Fed." And we were content.

My grandpa owns cattle. He's proud to feed them corn, he likes the flavor and tenderness of his beef, and there is next to no chance of him changing his ways. I understand that most of the older generation of my community will not change. But I like to think that my generation would. I would like to see change implemented in my community. I don't need drastic; baby steps are encouraged. I want to see the students of my old school learning about recycling before they get to college. I think it's reasonable to ask that the local restaurants buy produce locally, especially with the surplus of farmers that we seem to have in our community. The baby steps add up. Before we know it, we're running.

I think that part of this was addressed in An Inconvenient Truth. Many people don't know the facts, don't know what they can do to help, and don't know what things that they are doing that are contributing to the problem.  In that regard, I think that An Inconvenient Truth had good information. However, I am very aware of how ineffective that particular mode of education would be on my hometown. I am even more aware of how ineffective that particular mode of education was on me--paying attention to Al Gore as he gives a lecture for over an hour, when it isn't even live, is perhaps too much to ask out of anybody, but most especially of ten college freshmen crammed into a small, hot room.

Dream of the Future

It seems that no matter how close to the future I get, it always seems like an ethereal, abstract concept, hazy and not quite in focus. Plans are tentatively put into place, but outside influences and personal changes keep sidetracking me from where I saw myself even a year ago and where I see myself now.

I know that I want to be a physician of some sort. It isn't about the money, which everyone seems to say but few truly mean. For me, it's about the environment. I spent afternoons of this last summer volunteering in a hospital. The feeling I had when I interacted with patients--even though I was quite obviously a lowly volunteer who could do little but help them with getting around and distract them from the pain of their radiation treatments--had me convinced that I was in a place where I truly belonged. I feel self-fulfilled in the clinical environment, and the people I worked with were the type of people that I can only aspire to be.

While I felt at home in the hospital environment, I want to push myself further. Since middle school, I've known that I wanted to participate in a humanitarian effort at some point in my life. It's only been in the last few years that my hazy someday-I'll-be ideas started to take on a more corporeal form. After I'm certified to practice medicine, I want to be part of the Doctors Without Borders program for a few years.

After that point, my dream is impossible to pin down. I see myself working in a private practice, or being one of many physicians in a large hospital. I want to live in a metropolis of a city, or perhaps in some rural town that few have heard of and fewer can tell you where it's at. I really don't know what I want, but that's part of what I'm doing now; I'm forcing myself to make decisions and question what makes me happy. I'll have kids someday. Maybe I'll retire early and open my own small business. For me, the point is not knowing everything. I know what I want to do for a significant portion of the next fifteen years of my life. While structure is a nice support to lean on, I don't want to know what makes me happy before I experience it. I want it to sneak up on me and surprise me with how much I love it.